Tales From A Comic-Con-Virgin…

26 Jul

I went to Comic-Con 2011 in beautiful San Diego on Saturday! My roommate hooked me up with a pass for the day, so after I checked out his sweet Fleet Street Scandal booth, I took my badge for a spin on the Convention floor.

After some Asian kids asked me to take a picture with them (which I did because I had my sunglasses on anyway and when I was the only one who said “Comic-Connnnnn…” on the count of three, I jabbed both of them in the back and said “You didn’t say it, like your friend wanted you to” and they go “Wanna make out?”) — I knew it was going to be a great day.

If you weren’t able to get to the show this year, you can reenact it for yourself. I’ll guide you through a dramatization:

Take some laundry out of the dirty pile, crunch some Sour Cream Doritos into it, then warm it up with a hair dryer for 10 minutes. Stand near that pile for 120 minutes. While you’re doing that, slap yourself in the face occasionally with a rolled up poster. Or a bag. Or elbow your own neck if possible. Step on your toes. Sneeze on yourself at least once. Envision fat versions of skinny superheros and skinny versions of fat ones, walking by, stopping for photos, stuffing their faces with pizza. Just like in the movies. The most beautiful people will be wearing the most clothing. The others…well… There will be brilliant art right next door to the crappy kind. Kids toys next to, um, adult toys (yeah, that kind). But you’re in the flow of people traffic anyway, so. It’s easiest just to go with it.

You will have your pick of boyfriends, ladies.

Ok, anyone but him. 

Just as I was thinking — WELL, I guess the only thing to do here is to develop a sudden love of Dungeons & Dragons, act like I understand all the geek-isms written on T-shirts/posters/stuffed animals, grab some nachos and make out with the first guy I can find *not* wearing a Utilikilt, I saw it: STUFF I LIKE. My exclusive picks from my afternoon at Comic-Con:

Crafting With Cat Hair A delightful book about how to make use of your pet’s hairballs! If you were on the fence about cat ownership, I think I just pushed you over into Cat Fancy. (There’s no turning back).
The Frantic Meerkat  Magnets, cards, calendars, prints… all vintage and snarky and perfect! Get your own. (I did!)
Counselor Troi From Star Trek! She was there! I KNOW! I never watched that show either! It always came on after Little House And The Prairie and it was always a disappointment. I DO remember her though, from the back of cereal boxes, which I know realize were my only way in to pop culture. (She was the pretty one.)
Kids Dressed As Batman and The Joker, punching each other.
Battle Bears
Have you guys played this?? I walked by the booth and realized I know Ben Vu who invented it! He was just an intern back in the day at LAIKA, when I knew him. Oh, how the tables have turned. Now he’s ruling the world with bears that have rainbows coming out of their necks…
Yuki 7  And the new book put out by my roomie and his buddy Kevin Dart (Fleet Street Scandal). Check out the sexy spy-y trailer!

This looks like a scene from a not scary musical:

Finally, the day was over, the floor was closing, everyone was being asked to leave, and I was tagging along to dinner plans. And what plans they were.

We jumped in my sturdy dirty car and zipped over to Coronado Island where we found Hotel del Coronado. If you are  E V E R  in San Diego for  A N Y  reason, this hotel must be at the top of your list. And just above that, the 1800 Ocean restaurant there. After you find your way through the hotel, dripping with crystal chandeliers and dark, old wooden banisters, you’ll walk out onto a sprawling patio full of cafes and shoppes on the hotel beach. Live jazz will tickle your ears, saltwater air will cleanse your soul, and you’ll think “Whyyyyyy did I not wear something cuter in order to land me a Sugar Daddy.” The conversation was delightful, the food f****** amazing, the rosé smooth and crisp and perfect, the evening sultry. The kind of night where someone else picks up your tab, so you’re allowed to flaunt your fabulous. Chat up the leopard-print-ladies in the powder room, flirt with any and all servers.

Relax.

It was perfect. It had all the elements: adventure, hotel that feels like combination southern plantation / Titanic (Thomas Edison actually wired the place for electricity), yummy food and lovely company.

As I drove back to LA at midnight on I-5, I thought to myself “I feel like I’m in a dream, not really driving my c” — wait, no (at that point I stopped and got some Red Bull and Pop Chips). I got back on the highway and thought to myself, with the windows down, wind whipping my hair, chips on my shirt, Red Bull cutting a tiny hole in my esophagus… “I love this.”

Comic-Con, you’re one crazy b**** and I like your style.

XX,

L

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4 Responses to “Tales From A Comic-Con-Virgin…”

  1. Crystal July 26, 2011 at 9:27 AM #

    That sounds awesome! You always have great adventures!

    • Lauren July 26, 2011 at 10:42 AM #

      You are on half of them! Hahaha. XO

  2. Luke M July 26, 2011 at 10:34 AM #

    Lauren!
    ONE) Your writing KILLS. Some hip mag or something needs to pay you for this.
    TWO) Kevin Dart is your roommate? LOVE his work. I have one of his “Hotel” prints in my house I bought when he worked here.
    THREE) We stayed at the Coronado a few years ago when we went to Siggraph. It was awesome. There is a haunted room I hear.

    http://www.eeeek.com/coronadoghost.html

    http://www.sdparanormal.com/page/page/507340.htm

    • Lauren July 26, 2011 at 10:41 AM #

      Luke! Thank you so much! I did hear that Marilyn Monroe’s ghost haunts the Coronado…(?) I love that stuff. And it’s beeeeyutiful out there.

      And although Kevin does stop by my place on occasion, he is not my roommate. Chris Turnham is http://christurnham.tumblr.com/ and he is pretty friggin good at art. This image is my current fave right now.

      And yes. Someone DOES need to pay me! For just being myself. Haha. How do I work that out…..hmmm..

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