This weekend, I saw the worst play ever. I generally like to be positive about the theatRe – I know what kind of work it involves on all accounts. But hoooolyyyy yikes, this play was bad. I won’t say the name. But I will give my opinion. Let me just hit some key points. Heralded as “LA’s longest running play”: It’s a house party, 17 people strong, all in theme-y costumes. Most of the action takes place in the bathroom, center stage. (Ok so far, right?) There’s awkward maybe/maybenot-lesbian kissing, there’s a drunk AA member having schizophrenic monologues with his sobriety chip, there’s a rape, there’s lots of mumbling, there’s dialogue that goes nowhere, there’s pot, there’s coke, there’s a gay man dressed as a clown who’s constantly calling his dead boyfriend, there’s a Ritalin nerd (my favorite character of the show – he made it easy to watch, but he was featured so little), there’s a GIRL WHO TALKS LOUD and thinks everything is bugged by the government, there’s a domestic beating of the show’s lead female by her boyfriend – she dies on stage as he, dressed in a lion suit, punches his own hand and then kicks the ground behind a cabinet – like you’d
absolutely not do in a real fight. He then gives a draggingly long speech to her dead body about how he’s a white man and she’s a woman and he “owns this land”. When we were released from our audience folding-chair-prison, there was no quick dash out the door. We were greeted by every single actor, in their costumes, with “Thank you for coming! Did you enjoy it?” We weakly replied with “….yyyyyeaaaahhhh!” and “thank you!” Hands down, the best line of the show – as enjoyed by all us girls that nite – was “YOU GAVE BRAD AIDS!” $20, 2+ hours, no intermission. (Sigh.) God bless these actors who are “working in LA” and who love their show. If anything, it’s a message to us all: Anyone can do it!!
Image by HCPS