The pits. [Part 2: Tar]

15 Mar

First things first: There ain’t no dino’s in the tar pits. Dinosaurs became extinct before the tar ever appeared. Second things second: What are the tar pits doing in the middle of the city!?! I visited the La Brea Tar Pits (which is awkward because “la brea” means “the tar”… so it’s The Tar Tar Pits) this weekend in the hopes of almost reliving the unfortunate demise of spectacular prehistoric creatures millions of years ago.

The reality is that the tar pits sit amongst modern apartment buildings and even a Starbucks, not in the middle of a grassy wilderness, as I had pictured them in my mind. There’s almost this feeling of these creatures leaving for work in the morning, then accidentally stepping in some tar, then getting kinda stuck there and no one helping them as the others drive by in their hybrids on their way to work, “Help!!” “Oh! Yikes – look at you in that tar, there! Sorry… I’m kinda in a hurry…I, ah…” — That.

The grounds are landscaped, but kind of left unattended in spots. There is tar seeping through the surface of the earth, afterall. Here, a mother Mastodon says to her child and husband “Come ON. Seriously, you guys…I can still see you…Ok, thanks for nothing…”

The “tar” in the main pool seems pretty un-tar-like. I believe it’s more of a representation, appearing a lot like an oil slick. Couldn’t they just walk back out and hose off, one thinks.

Then things took a turn for the morbid. Actual TAR. The thick, asphalt-stinking sludge I imagined. (This is our favorite tar hole.) With gas bubbling to the surface, things started to feel a lot more dangerous. Until a squirrel, hopped into the fenced-in tar zone, scampered across the dirt, and began gingerly lapping at the tar. I felt myself collectively scream with the other onlookers “Squirrel! No!” He seemed satisfied and hurried off. Like some kind of mutant beast, having adapted to survive on tar water.

Come apocalypse time, I’m betting on cockroaches — and also squirrels.

Excavation For Dummies.

I became fast friends with “Shasta” the elephant-sized ground sloth: Megatherium. He seemed dark and misunderstood. Of course I liked him immediately.

Oh Shasta, you little-eared teddy bear. {Call me}.

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One Response to “The pits. [Part 2: Tar]”

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  1. Culture Club. | THIS IS LALA LAND - April 14, 2014

    […] voyage to LACMA. I’d driven by a zillion times. And I’d been to the underwhelming tar pits before. Now, they’ve half-assedly tied the “sinking” elephants to land. SOMEONE […]

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