HAPPY WEEKEND! I wanna try something where at the end of every week, I fill in the blanks. And share them. Let’s see how this goes. (Feel free to post your own thoughts/responses! I love hearing what you have to say.)
2. Auditions: 1.
3. Learned: Don’t trust hobos to “watch your car” for you. Even if you say hi and they say hi back and it seems like you might have some kind of connection.
4. Lady Parts: 5 gray hairs have gone to be with Jesus. I know, leave them in. But they shine like tinsel on a brown-haired Christmas tree and they gotta come out.
5. Love/Hate LA: Sunshine/Swamp-crotch
6. Days Sun-Sponsible: 296 (This is because there is melanoma in my family. Since August 4, 2010, I haven’t had any unprotected sun!)
7. Playin’ It Out: The National, England
8. Story: This is that one audition. I arrived at Hollywood Production Center in Glendale, where the logo is all jangly like the Hollywood sign, but here, the O has fallen off.
I get in an elevator with a child actor and his parents. The mother says “You know who you look like…!?” I brace myself for Coma Girl from Grey’s Anatomy. “Emma Watson,” she says, “You DO!” (I do not.) “We met her! She is lovely in person…” She points to her son with a coy smile. “Where did you meet her?” I ask, the can of worms cracked open. “WELL, I have photos…” and she whips out an album of her young son’s acting-with-celebrities. And there is Emma, at a Harry Potter premiere, with little Trevor. I pretend I think I look like her.
I sign in for the role of “Mom”. I’m greeted by two cha-cha Armenians “O-kaaaaay…. this is a Christian feature film. You’ll be comforting your baby on a bus. Ok, where is that baaabyyyy….” They look around the room for a prop and hand me a 3 ring binder. “The baby is crying and you just broke up with your boyfriend and everyone’s staring at you. Whenever you’re ready.” I cradle the binder in my left arm and pretend to apologize for its crying fit. I burp it over my shoulder. I coo to it. I gently bounce it up and down. Rub its… back. I think about nursing it and decide against it. Finally, they take binder baby away from me and I shake their hands and walk out.
People always ask if I wanted a 3-ring or a spiral binder and I always just say I wanted a healthy binder.
9. Wish: That my stressacne would clear up. Or at least turn exclusively to bacne.
11. A Blessed Gift From The Universe: Babies In The Woods
12. Photo: A chair at the Dresden.
Image of bear