Archive | August, 2011

Figgity figure.

31 Aug

This model is decidedly more “saloon” than the last one. Except for the cat. Which was her purse. (This week is all about cats!)

…I went to figure drawing again. Turning the gestures into 9-foot supermodels makes it fun for me. This girl had a lot of ruffles-n-stuffles goin on. I do like the frilly bits…




Maceration: a normal, healthy part of life.

30 Aug

I macerated last week. And liked it.

What you do with your berries is your own bid’ness, but might I offer this fine method. It’s maceration (which to me, means “kinda beat it up a little bit”) with vinegar and honey.

You can rub one out in minutes.

What you need:

1 quart fresh strawberries
1/2 c balsamic vinegar
1 T raw honey

What to do:

Simmer vinegar over medium heat until reduced to half. Remove from heat, mix in honey, pour over berries and let sit at least 10 minutes. You can then add the berries to anything. I put them in my oatmeal with a dab of yogurt.

Maceration is a great start to your day!



Pussies and tiaras.

29 Aug

Welcome to the Santa Monica Cat Show 2011!

In two words: overwhelmingly awesome. In one word: CATS! It’s like a dog show. So there’s judging, furry beasts to pet and ogle, pa-lenty of merchandise, Velveeta nachos and soda for spectators. I attended the Westminster Dog Show at Madison Square Gardens NYC when I lived there. I sat at nose-bleed level in the stands with my friend Angela, as we ate hot dogs, drank beer and picked our favorite working class bitches. (It’s dogs!)

This was a different scene. There’s something less full of commotion, about cats. Most of them were content to sleep and clean themselves in their crates while they awaited competition. Crystal and I got front row seats to kitten judging. “YOU’RE ALL WINNERS!” is what we wanted to yell out. The lady next to us had a different idea. For every single cat, she asked “WHAT KINDA CAT IS THAT” in what I like to imagine as being way more Minnesota. The judge, David Mare (who’s been judging for 45 years and completely loves these animals – he nuzzled a few of them and all our onlooker hearts simultaneously exploded), graciously answered her every time.

Here’s David Mare showing us how to judge a cat in a million complicated steps:

Our favorite cats had smushy faces and round heads, weird ears, tons of fur. Winners!

But there’s a dark side to Cat Show.

Sometimes, the pressure’s just too much. And a kitty decides to end it all…

*Mom: It’s a cat looking up at a toy which is designed as a real cat tail. But to me, it looks like a cat hung itself. Which would be horrible. Hahaha…–NO. Horrible. Really… really horrible. (And miraculous. They have no thumbs!)

Amidst a sea of feline-themed cardigans, carpeted cat apartments, feathery/jingle-bell/mouse-y toys and oversized sweatshirts reading If you don’t talk to your cat about catnip, who will?, there appeared a glittery oasis: Maria Ewing of Locketship.

She got that shirt at the show (and I believe she cut it all adorable herself, because I sure didn’t see anything like that when I looked). Her Kitty Collection is especially hilarious. I gifted myself one of her rings. Because I can’t stop laughing when I look at it.

It was a lovely afternoon in Santa Monica. I escaped the heat of Central LA (Yeah – I still don’t know how to describe where I live…) and spent a bit of time in the shade of some weird palm trees, the sweet summer breeze…breezing, my eyes on the sea.


Oh wait. Something’s missing.

There she is…



Back by popular demand: THE NAIL CLIPPER.

26 Aug

This is the world’s worst spy movie. And I feel kinda bad about taping him. BUT. He is kinda asking for it by not clipping his nails in a normal place. Like the subway. Or at work. *Personally, I prefer to clip my nails in the privacy of my own bathroom. But I also do other weird things like shampoo my hair in the shower. And floss regularly.

I was concerned he could see my hand, the camera (or ME, creepily lurking), so I’m all timid in the beginning. But I want you to hear the clipping. I become a brave filmmaker a few seconds later. Then a scaredy cat again.

All for you guys…



I’m moving in with Helena Christensen.

25 Aug

After my third visit, snooping up on art books and expensive magazines I totally want, I felt like I should maybe splurge a little and buy a book at the bookstore. So I did. Don’t tell Taschen, but I bought this:

And goodness me, it is divine. I love this type of interior design. People living in their friggin homes. Not rich people pictured in high rises they don’t actually occupy. Or creative tree-dwellers who cook fireflies over a campfire (What?!). Of course there’s a little of this (it is styled, afterall) and goshdarnit, if it doesn’t make you wanna straighten your wall art:

But here’s the real meat and potatoes. (If you’re from PA, that’s a good thing. You also like ham loaf, whoopie pies and scrapple, but we’ll talk about that another time.)

HELENA CHRISTENSEN’S I-want-to-get-in-it New York apartment. Shut. Up. It’s beautiful. And so is she, but she’s a model, so… obviously.

All she eats is bread, apples and sugar. Just like Snow White.

It makes me feel like you can be a creative person, in a creative space, and organize your soulful mess into something inspiring, thoughtful and personal. Squee! Also, I like to think of my future as having these elements in it: Puppy, photographs of my well-traveledness with lovely friends, Big Apple digs, conch shells on tables. By Jebus, you can have it all!



Don’t shoot.

24 Aug

You’re a sniper. Who gets it first?

A. The man in the ill fitting suit jacket.
B. The woman just bummin’ some smokes.
C. Sherman Hemsley.

*This is an actual police shooting target – I love it – available here!

Next up, two guns, two mustaches and jazz haaaaands. Shoot!

I’ll be taking a lesson at LAX Firing Range and I’m just…preparing. I went to a firing range once with my friend on Valentine’s Day. A perfect celebration! It’s scary, holding a heavy loaded gun until you realize how awesome you are at aiming. By the end of my last session, I was putting earring holes in my target’s ears… Well, I’m not gonna shoot him where he could be seriously injured! Just cosmetic shots.

And maybe I put one in his medulla oblongata.



Faux Foodie: Chana Saag

23 Aug

Friends, I f’d up the ginger portion of this dish. I didn’t know how to prep the little beast and I didn’t have a microplane or even a nice emery board to grate it. I ended up grinding it within an inch of its life (skin on!) in an old timey cheese grater (like the metal version of the kind they use at Olive Garden). And this still turned out awesome. Consider this your invitation to make easypies Indian food with me! I’m no adorable blogger-cook. If I can do it, you can do it. Namaste. And Bhagavad Gita to us all.

I lightly adapted this recipe, but my initial inspiration came from an Indian food truck that parks outside my work sometimes. I wanted to try making “the one with the spinach and the chickpeas” because it seemed healthy, hearty and high-kick-y. I bought the spices in bulk because instead of a million dollars, it’s less than $5 (if you’re buying for the recipe). Served it up with brown basmati rice and a small helping of Project Runway. And some white wine I found, already open in the fridge.

What you need:

2 T olive oil
6 cloves garlic, chopped
1 large onion, chopped
1 T ginger, grated (Peel the skin off before you do the grating so you don’t end up Googling “is ginger skin poisonous to humans” right before bed, just to check…*it’s not…)
1 tsp tumeric
1 tsp ground coriander
1 tsp garam masala (Indian spice mixture)
2 tsp ground cardamom
2 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper (the recipe says 1/8, but I like my high-kicks high)
2-3 cups chopped tomatoes
2 15 oz cans chickpeas, drained (no soaking overnite for these beans. Or peas. Peasbeans.)
1 lb fresh spinach, loosely chopped

What to do:

Heat oil in large pot over medium heat. Throw in the onions until soft. Add garlic and ginger for a few minutes. Mix all the spices together, then add tomatoes and spices to the pot. Cook for 10 mins. Add chickpeasbeans and fresh spinach. Cook for about 10-15 minutes until heated through and your kitchen smells like “Ancient Old World”… or “Indian Truck”. Serve over your favorite rice. Optional garnish: a dollop of plain Greek yogurt.

Chef’s note: While digging through a pile of dusty ginger root at the Nature Mart, I thought — THIS is one of those items that should just be free. It looks like I found it on the floor.

It’s delicious though…!



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