Welcome to the Santa Monica Cat Show 2011!

In two words: overwhelmingly awesome. In one word: CATS! It’s like a dog show. So there’s judging, furry beasts to pet and ogle, pa-lenty of merchandise, Velveeta nachos and soda for spectators. I attended the Westminster Dog Show at Madison Square Gardens NYC when I lived there. I sat at nose-bleed level in the stands with my friend Angela, as we ate hot dogs, drank beer and picked our favorite working class bitches. (It’s dogs!)

This was a different scene. There’s something less full of commotion, about cats. Most of them were content to sleep and clean themselves in their crates while they awaited competition. Crystal and I got front row seats to kitten judging. “YOU’RE ALL WINNERS!” is what we wanted to yell out. The lady next to us had a different idea. For every single cat, she asked “WHAT KINDA CAT IS THAT” in what I like to imagine as being way more Minnesota. The judge, David Mare (who’s been judging for 45 years and completely loves these animals – he nuzzled a few of them and all our onlooker hearts simultaneously exploded), graciously answered her every time.

Here’s David Mare showing us how to judge a cat in a million complicated steps:

Our favorite cats had smushy faces and round heads, weird ears, tons of fur. Winners!

But there’s a dark side to Cat Show.

Sometimes, the pressure’s just too much. And a kitty decides to end it all…

*Mom: It’s a cat looking up at a toy which is designed as a real cat tail. But to me, it looks like a cat hung itself. Which would be horrible. Hahaha…–NO. Horrible. Really… really horrible. (And miraculous. They have no thumbs!)

Amidst a sea of feline-themed cardigans, carpeted cat apartments, feathery/jingle-bell/mouse-y toys and oversized sweatshirts reading If you don’t talk to your cat about catnip, who will?, there appeared a glittery oasis: Maria Ewing of Locketship.

She got that shirt at the show (and I believe she cut it all adorable herself, because I sure didn’t see anything like that when I looked). Her Kitty Collection is especially hilarious. I gifted myself one of her rings. Because I can’t stop laughing when I look at it.

It was a lovely afternoon in Santa Monica. I escaped the heat of Central LA (Yeah – I still don’t know how to describe where I live…) and spent a bit of time in the shade of some weird palm trees, the sweet summer breeze…breezing, my eyes on the sea.

Ahhhhhhh… 

Oh wait. Something’s missing.

There she is…

XX,

L