Tonight (cue Halloween music — so, I guess, Monster Mash?), on this, the advent of All-Hallows-Eve, I am attempting a feat few women before me have achieved. Among the costumed revelers of the West Hollywood Halloween Carnaval, I will attempt the most daring, most dangerous, most balls-to-the-wall display of fiery rebellion. I will cast down my garters, my go-go boots, my vinyl corset, my falsies! I will become….
SUPER NOT-SEXY CATHOLIC SCHOOLGIRL
And she will not be beautiful!
*(Please do not attempt this at home. It might not even work. It’s possible that the mere act of putting on a plaid skirt transforms even the most well-intentioned, into, at least, a slutty field hockey player. But I’ll document it for you, of course…)
My Mom gave me her wedding dress, which I brought back to LA with me. It’s a gorgeous gown that she wore as a fresh-faced 21 year old with a pixie cut in 1974. Here are a few pics of me, modeling it.
Nostalgia turned swiftly to terror in this next photo. I do not embody the same youthful hope that my Mom did, in her wedding photos. I look more like….well, yeah. Every single horror film you’ve ever seen.