A Super-Not-Sexy-Schoolgirl Halloween!

Here’s where it ended. Me – in a unicorn sandwich.

But here’s how it began, for this Hollywood Halloween virgin.

HALLOWEEN #1 SATURDAY: We started out by hitting up a friend’s house party in Los Feliz. I didn’t wanna bust out the “schoolgirl”, so I patched together a costume using my favorite sparkly cat mask and a tiara and called it “High Class Pussy”.
 Touchups in our friends’ bathroom.

My favorite costume of the party (sorry Snooki, pirate, guy dressed as a Jewish guy who was actually Jewish and therefore not really in costume), was THIS *until further clarification:
 Me: “Oh my God, can I take a photo of your costume!?”

Girl: “Yeah…!”

Me: (Taking photo) “I love it! Carmageddon!

Girl: “– I’m just the 405.”

Me: “………..cool!” Debating whether to delete the photo. I feel like she may have missed an opportunity. But who am I – the 2011 Costume Police? NO! I’m a SPARKLY CAT.

We drank some green punch, ate some candy, and took our traveling party to Akbar. Which, is a must-go-to in LA for Halloween. Ain’t no costume party like a costume party at a gay bar.
 Just another girls’ nite out! The “lady” in the middle – Myrna – is a puppet created by my friend Ian. Myrna was the hot mess star of the show.

This photo was taken a few hours before I would lose my jacket, sweater and keys on the dance floor. I would be found bent in half, searching underneath chairs and benches, while a girl dressed as a viking, repeatedly chopped me in the neck with a machete…

HALLOWEEN #2 MONDAY: After a crazy nite at Akbar, I wondered if I could muster up two nights of seasonal pizzaz. And I could. Mainly because I got to do this:

She’s a beaut, that one! My strategy involved an intricate web of Goodwill, not caring, and slouching. We stopped at my friend’s house party in West Hollywood for cocktails and snacks before the parade.
My roommate and I enjoy the party.

But we wanted to be out on the streets with the people! So we hit those streets. We hit them hard.
I think we walked a billion miles, but we didn’t notice, thanks to the a-ma-zing people watching. Bunches of people dressed as the characters from Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood, McDonald’s, Where’s Waldo (we had a few in our group!), “Certified Muff Diver” (I’m not explaining that one…), SEXYSLUTTYEVERYTHING…. It was an overwhelming feast for the eyes.

Everyone was in a party mood and it was tons of fun! Live music on stages in the streets, food trucks and “street meat” (those tiny hot dog carts with sizzling onions and peppers that smell amazing). My favorite thing was watching costume-twinsies meet each other.
 Amy meets her match.

I just like this pic of my roommate at Hamburger Mary’s en route on Santa Monica Blvd.
Super-Not-Sexy-Schoolgirl can’t find her friends. — Oh right, she doesn’t have any…

 Overall, a Halloween success! I got my keys back from Akbar and I was the *ONLY* not-sexy-schoolgirl on the Boulevard…



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