Archive | March, 2012


22 Mar

— Not with those people! (Although, I bet the guy on the right is heaps of fun).

Tonight I’m flying away in an aeroplane to a TROPICAL ISLAND. What. The. Awesome. I have my nails did, a spray tan, two new Victoria’s Secret bikinis that I think actually use my stomach fat to simulate the appearance of cleavage, and kale chips for the plane. Because I’m trying to pretend like I won’t be eating and drinking my guts out for the next 10 days. But I will…

I know next to nothing about Puerto Rico. I’ve never been to any island unless you count Rhode. “So you can see the sun come up on one beach and set on the other beach??!” My questions are those of an underage illiterate mute. “You use US Dollars?” “I don’t need a passport?!” “Do you drink the water and should I?”

I don’t even really know what to look forward to! I’ll be meeting my boyfriend Ervin’s family and friends while I’m there. Living with them in the little town of Peñuelas on the southern coast. We’ll be hitting the beach, the little chinchorros for food and drink, and Old San Juan. And then we’ll also be working on Ervin’s Dad’s farm (…I’ve milked a cow. Once.). And hanging out on a cruise ship so we can visit with Ervin’s bestie who’s an on-board musician. (I did just watch that Italian cruise ship special on Dateline, so picture me wearing a life vest the entire time.)

I’ll be back in 10 days. So, see you in April with lots of stories. And maybe I’ll know a little Español by then. A girl can sueño. (–I don’t know...)





America’s Next Top (Hand) Model.

14 Mar

Meet my new family! My daughter….um…Sssteeephrrrahhbrrriiiitt…uhhh… and of course my husband……Daaaavvchrisssmmmmiiiichaell…? We are all very happy and very very blessed.

This is my most recent commercial shoot for Kroger! We shot in San Diego over a few days and I got to use my face AND my manhands…

(Small children cower in fear).

Day 1: FACE.

We shot in this little residence high in the hills along the Pacific, overlooking downtown San Diego. This is a house mullet. Check it out. From the front – nothing special, but from the back – holy epicness.
First things first, craft services for coffee and water and a Cliff Bar. Because it was the butt crack o dawn. And I had just driven from LA in morning rush-hour traffic. Coffee can’t even swing a stick at it.

We select wardrobe and jewels. All from Fred Meyer, for those of you who know it! I totally wanted these heels. They say “Sexy Easter” to me, which is exactly what Easter is all about. Right, Jesus? (Mary Magdalene, you’re with me though, yeah?)
 These kid actors are insane amounts of cute.
Once I had my Easter dress on, I got my tatts covered by our makeup artist on set. She did a killer job. Sayonara stars!
 We shot all day, ending with my close-up: Me, holding an angel food cake with strawberries and whipped cream on it. East Coast people, that’s what you can look for on TV! (I am pretty sure this will be playing there, and not on the West Coast this time).

Then it was…

Day 2: HANDS.

Let me preface this with the hardcore facts about my hands.

–       They have been called “Paws” and “Manhands”. Names that are still intact.

–       They are strong and often cracked and dry.

–       My nails are just… short.

So, you can understand my shock – and concern that I’d be showcasing men’s jewelry – when I was asked to do hand modeling work.

I had no idea what I was getting into. But, as we thespianists say when it comes to getting paid for any type of acting “YesI’llDoItThankYou”.

I got to set and discovered we’d be modeling food! (Phew). I was fascinated by the food stylists. A lot goes into making this stuff look appetizing on camera. Granted, that red Jell-O was acting like such a b****.
My new friend Mignonette (who’s face you will also see in the ad), took her hands out for a spin with some pro coffee pouring.
 The hands part of the shoot was a 2-day event. So, I thought I’d share with you a little of the behind-the-scenes stuff that you probably weren’t aware goes into hand modeling.

Back at the hotel, there’s a lot of primping and pampering so that these paws can look their best in the morning.

Checking for any unwanted thumb hairs. Thinking about life. Is that a new knuckle wrinkle? Sigh…
A quick steam in the shower.
 And a solid 8 hours in the sack.
(*Yeah, this is the stuff I’m doing while other people are going out or spending time with their families during the shoot. After this, I ate an obscene amount of M&M’s and watched Parks&Recreation on my laptop while looking at Zappos on my phone. If you thought I was cool before, well…. I’ll wait while you collect the pieces of your mind that were just blown!)

All in all, I’m always glad to be doing what I came to LA to do. Act. And right now, I appreciate any incarnation of it. (Especially the paying kind). I cross my supermodel fingers that there will be more on the horizon!



VOTE: MOLES for People Magazine!

5 Mar

I wanna start out by mentioning that my sister made me do this.

But I love her. (And she is terrifyingly convincing.) And I found a way to make it about something other than “Pick me cuz I’m pretty!” Because I’m not that kinda gal. SO, I decided to take the opportunity to get MOLES INTO PEOPLE MAGAZINE!

It’s People Magazine’s new Real Beauty At Every Age search. So, [SPOILER ALERT] you’ll find out that I’m 34 (–million years old) and that my favorite feature about myself is my moles. Obviously, that relationship is “complicated”. But it’s one that I’m working on making more awesome-er.

So, go to, search “Lauren”, see that pic above and click the little like-y heart below it. Hey, even enter yourselves, beauties!

Because even just one person can moles a difference.



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