Archive | June, 2012

Anxious Brain.

26 Jun

I’m having one of those days where all the things are extra heavy, anxiety-ridden and difficult.  Just the same old. (x 1,000,000)

Lately my mind has been lingering a lot on “what have you got to show for yourself”. What specific things can I pinpoint as accomplishments and successes. Things that make me happy. That I’m proud of.

While my brain is downward spiraling, it’s hard to think of anything other than “nothing…” and lying on the floor of my bedroom until even my skeleton crushes under its own weight. Somehow I missed all the gold rings on the life-carousel. No kids, not married, no career success (and right now… very little acting at all), no house, no extra money, no — see? This list is coming out too easy.

I’m not even interested in half those things! At least not right now. What is wrong with me?? What is it that makes me feel like I have nothing going on. I was looking at some blogs today while doing freelance and it seemed like everyone had this adorable, perfect life happening — at least online. I can’t even pretend that’s happening on here.

Maybe I have to do one of those gratitude journals. I hate even writing the word “gratitude”. I know what it is and why it’s important to acknowledge it. It’s just one of those dirty LA words. Like “Piloxing” and “juice cleanse”. And “Fatburger”.

But, here goes. I am grateful for:

1. Ervin. (Somehow he always wants to spend time with me. And somehow we speak the same dying language of “Committed Relationship in Hollywood”.)

2. My health. (Knock on everything wooden.)

3. My family. (They haven’t forgotten me yet.)

4. My friends. (The ones who are far away and the ones who I can get stuck in traffic with.)

5. Day jobs enough to pay the bills. (Not making this list: the time it takes to do them.)

6. Clothes in my closet. (So I don’t have to buy the ones I want in the windows…)

7. The things I’m good at. You know who you are, talents.

8. Life. Today. There’s always a chance for something —




Lunch Under The Hollywood Sign.

25 Jun

Someone spam-commented on my blog and said “I like you content u have going here. My husband also I like you information on generic viagra. Do you consider guest post on subject?” So, I thought — hmm… Generic Viagra post by spamming computer-couple in Nigeria, OR super cute place to get brunch under the Hollywood Sign.

Well, dearest readers (hey – zip up your pants!) Welcome to a little place called Hollywoodland.

My roommate Chris and I decided to try out this place on a roommate lunch date in the hills. It used to be a little coffee shop, but has since had an extreme makeover restaurant edition. It’s now the Beachwood Cafe, on a little shopping block up Beachwood Canyon. You can have a bite, do some antiquing, get your pants hemmed, and then pick up a few groceries next door on your way to Instagram the Hollywood sign.

There are kitchy little dioramas set into the walls, Mary Blair-esque patterns on the tiles and wallpaper. Buttery yellows, sky blues, lots of space to linger over coffee and a sandwich.

I gave the Fez Bowl a spin. It was delicious. Chris got the burger. We could hardly be stressed out about life in LA, over this satiating dish. Is it just me or are those tiny Peter Rabbit carrots more fun to eat than regular carrots.
Thumbs up. Everything’s better under the Hollywood Sign.



Real Housewife In Real Life.

21 Jun

No, I don’t care if the entire Real Housewives franchise is pure trash. I. Love. Trash The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Especially Kyle and Adrienne (hearts!), but – all the girls. Also, they’re all running their own charities and businesses (ok, OK — maybe they “fell into some money” along the way… or married it… tomato, tomahto…) so, they’re livin the dream. To be able to afford rhinolipotox whenever and wherever you want it. And the haute couture to flatter it.

I was driving around BeHi the other night for my fancy restaurant delivery job, a little sweaty (stand-still traffic makes me hot), listening to that god-forsaken Carly Rae Jepsen song (please watch the video just for the “The Sky Is The Limit” chest tattoo), when I was stuck at a light near Rodeo Drive. I noticed some camera crew, and a limo parked outside an art gallery on the corner. Inside, was tall, model-y Brandi Glanville filming a Real Housewives segment.

Glitter rainbows! It’s fun to see famous people. IT IS. Even when you see them all the time in LA, doing “Stars They’re Just Like Us” stuff. Like walking (guy from The Sandlot I always see near the gelato place). Or eating spaghetti (Michael Cera at Little Dom’s).

I also just realized Brandi was the former wife of the guy Leann Rimes jacked as her own (Rrrrg. Leann! For shame.). That makes me like Brandi even more. I’m glad to see a woman who had her heart minced in public, rock it out. Because even if you are the bitchiest of bitches, it’s hard to recover from stuff like that. Don’t we all know it.

Then, the light turned green and I drove away in my dirty Honda with the front bumper which is slowly extracting itself from my car. And went to Melanie Griffith’s house to deliver her dinner.

Y’know. All in a day’s work.




I Love Oysters. These Oysters, Anyway.

20 Jun

Before I ever arrived at this brunch, I knew I loved two things: Kirsten and Carlos Calvo. OK, and champagne. But there was a fourth guest at this soirée who I wasn’t totally sure about. Oysters. Party of, like, 48.

It was Kirsten’s birthday brunch! A lovely intimate gathering in the Calvo’s back yard… with all – I tell you, all – the fixin’s. Namely, bottomless champagne, fresh salads…and oysters. Aphrodisiac of the gods. Because who else but a superhuman could really enjoy a raw sea creature that tastes like ocean and feels like Jell-O and then feel like gettin’ it on.

But I love Kirsten. And if she loves oysters… (yikes) so do I. At least for her birthday. Oh – what? Hello, cheese and bread…

Finally the time came to take the plunge. These oysters are from the Hollywood Farmer’s Market and they are fresh as morning dew. Which is how they’re supposed to be eaten.

Carlos makes quick work of the oyster opener. It says “easy to use”, with an illustration of baby hands, but you wanna be a pro if you’ve enjoyed, perhaps, a birthday cocktail…prior to knife wielding.

I took one to be polite. And I ate the rest because I was addicted. There is NOTHING like a spankin’ fresh oyster with a little zingy garnish! I’ve had a room temperature oyster shooter at a cocktail party. Gross. And now I’ve had the majesty of the sea. I get it! I’m weird with textures – and I liked it. Seriously, give it a try.

Do it, for me. I wanna know that I changed someone’s life, oyster-wise.

The Calvo’s house is mesmerizing too. Their bathroom is huge – like in Sex and the City. And look at this cinematic light streaming into their kitchen. It’s a sign. Good things come from the Calvo’s house. They are awesome. Their parties are awesome…

I’m looking forward to their Oktoberfest this fall. ‘Tis legendary, I hear. I’ve always been out of town for it. But I got all OCD about it this year and typed it into my phone calendar. An event I will plan around. 

Thank you Kirsten and Carlos for a lovely afternoon at your home!

It seriously is too bad sausage isn’t an aphrodisiac. That, I could get behind.



Coco & Ruby Shoot.

18 Jun

It’s like I’m all nervous to get my photo taken with my two favorite characters at Disneyland. It’s COCO & RUBY! Starring the sassy and talented duo: Courtney Freed as Coco and Rebecca Johnson as Ruby! Just two gals from the 1940’s, livin’ the dream in modern day Hollywood.

I played a chick from present day. Jaded, drab, cynical present day. It’s enough to make you wanna travel back to panty-hose-ration times. And to calling them panty hose.

The girls gracefully demonstrate how unglamorous the world of acting can be. Even when you love it, it’s work. That day there were bees, hot sun, nosey neighbors lurking in the background – staring all creepy like they’re watching TV.

It was a quick Sunday morning shoot for me! With pastries, coffee, make-up and a bit of time to snap some pics of Rebecca’s adorable house in Atwater Village. It’s an updated 1920’s place with hardwood floors and a ghost cat. Yeah. Ghost cat. 

These portraits are flea market finds, beginning new lives above Rebecca’s sofa.

Rebecca has this Old Hollywood, eclectic, vintage, glamorous actress aesthetic. And it all fits together perfectly.

Courtney and Rebecca have such a cool project going on. They’re mega talented singers and actors — and hilarious to boot. Check it out. You’ll be Team Coco & Ruby in no time.

Thanks for the shoot, ladies!!



Your Prized Opinion.

15 Jun

I’m thinking of writing a book. (!)

About stuff that happens in LA. From a struggling actress’s (–um, it’s me) point of view. One that hasn’t “made it” yet. So, there won’t be that awesome “PHEW! Good thing she stuck with it!” payoff at the end. It will be straight up: challenges, awkwardness, terror, death-defying-ness, mild sexiness, late rent paying, short stories, illustrations of pointless things, photos, maybe a fold-out shooting target, possibly scratch-n-sniff, confessions, secrets, lies and MAYBE a vampire if you choose that adventure – but he dies right away, so don’t pick that one.

WOULD YOU GUYS READ IT?!? I know you read this (thank you!!). But would you read a book. It would be less bloggy and more short stories-y. With an emphasis on the hilariously entertaining.

Because who wants to read a book about life in the trenches, if it’s all crying and cutting.

I like to think I can spin a good tale.

Lemme know…




Roadtrip to Pixar.

13 Jun

You guys, I saw “Brave” this weekend. Spoiler alert: There’s this space creature that comes to Earth and visits this little boy and he likes Reese’s Pieces and the little boy hides him but one time he gets drunk and the frogs are set free and then he ends up turning white and laying in this creek and then he’s ok and this flower comes back to life and eventually he goes home with the other E.T.’s in the spaceship.

So. Act surprised when you see “Brave” and it’s nothing at all like that, ok?

This weekend I was cordially invited by my friend Piper – who’s now a manager on a future feature (Wooo!) – to visit Pixar and go to the fabulously exclusive, expensive, super fun wrap party. Due to privacy issues (i.e. I don’t wanna end up in Pixar prison, although it does seem like it would be clean and well-appointed), I can only pretty much relay what went on before and after the party. But. You’ll get the idea.

Ervin and I drove up to Oakland Friday afternoon. That’s us, up top. I think the picture conveys “I love animated movies.” We drove straight to Pixar to see a screening of Prometheus. This was Piper’s first time meeting Ervin, so this was his visitor’s badge! *Which was not at all confusing when the gate guard was asking us to spell our last names:A photo with everyone’s favorite Monsters and also Sully and Mike Wazowski.

That nite, we headed into “the city” SF and met up with my friend Lucy (HI LUCY!) at Toronado. We easily downed a Rosamunde sausage and two beers, before our eyes were closing. G’nite! Why is I-5 like a friggin tranquilizer! I’m getting old.

Saturday, we got cinnamon-y “morning buns” at La Farine and headed up north to The Napa Valley – beautiful, luscious wine country  – for the wrap party! We were spending the night, post-party, in this adorable house on its own vineyard. There were no grapes on the vines, but I still like to think I “lived on a vineyard” for a day.
My vineyard makes whiskey. Then Nora made us some badass signature cocktails and we hustled to get ourselves prettied up.Piper applied a white mustache for the occasion. I’m kidding. It’s Nair. And she said I can post this. Because she is awesome. And in reality, she has nothing to Nair in the first place. We clean up nice. The movie’s Scottish, ya’ll. In case you were wondering…

THEN, it was off to the castle! The party took place at Castello di Amorosa, which, if you like castles and wine, you should totally check out! Gorgeous courtyards and towers to make you feel like you’re back home in Italy. Or the Ren Faire.Piper and Leslie strike a completely candid pose. Which way is the gym? Back… like, back that way behind my back – the way I just came from?Last chance to repent. For what you did, or what you’re about to do. Does that count? I didn’t grow up Catholic.Thennnnn we were inside. Where we did so much —And OMG, there was —And you will not beLIEVE— Oh wait. That’s I-5 South. Not a party. Time to head home.

It was an awesome weekend. Thank you Piper! And Pixar. “Brave” is fantastic. Go see it. That’s all I’m sayin’.



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