We Got Crabs.

You know you’re in Baltimore when you have crabs and you’re excited about it.

And you eat them at every meal and you don’t go broke. In LA this week, I just delivered King crab legs (just the LEGS!) to someone for $40. In Baltimore, “market price” doesn’t involve crabs in planes.Ervin and I cracked some crabs, drank a few local beers – National Bohemian – which I originally thought was part of the Pringles dynasty (someone used the same design firm), and celebrated my nephew Hudson’s almost-1 year old bday last week!

Our first (crab) leg of the trip was spent at my sister’s house. This is the Baltimore Penitentiary. It is not where she lives.I dunno. I think the second window from the right looks nice (cocking gun).

We drove through neighborhoods that look like “The Wire” (where my sister told me “Seriously, people live in there. We’re not stopping. Don’t take pictures.”), and arrived at the National Aquarium, where I have visited many times, but which still amazes me. Stingrays are incredible. So are sharks when I’m not in the water with them.An octopus leg (hot pink! My kinda…fish? I wasn’t paying attention.)My parents at Inner Harbor. It was their 39th anniversary a few days before. They remind me that people can still have a happy marriage and actually want to be together.THIS is current Hudson.He showed me a few of his new tricks, like “using anyone’s leg to climb up and stand” and “throw the ball” and “definitely-not-child-genius ability at not putting blocks in block-shaped holes.”He’s also great at pulling things out of cupboards and looking adorable. I finally got to squeeze him. Which I had been looking forward to doing.My sister went all out for his birthday party. When I said “Well, I mean, how many 1 year old bdays will he have?” Les answered “Two.” She’s throwing a friends-style party for him closer to his birthday in September.

This was my assignment: Make crab dip.If someone named “Crab Dip” gave you the recipe, how could you go wrong! You’ll be in warm, cheesy, Old Bay spiced Heaven in 30 minutes. Serve with baguette. And eat with friends, especially if you doubled it, like we did. Ba-da-bing.

For a no-fail crab themed baby bday: Crab shaped sugar cookies, yummy local cupcakes with crab markers, crab wine!, personalized crab mallets AND, DIY crab poop. — We stole this idea from the souvenir stores in Inner Harbor. It took two people to make the sign. Me and my Mom.  Just use cinnamon candy and chocolate covered anything. Real crab poo looks like grayish mustard. Trust me, I wanted to serve that as an option…Then, the moment we had been waiting for. Cake + Baby = Awesome. We sang him Happy Birthday as he evaluated this alien form before him. My Mom played the same piano we had growing up, now in my sister’s house. My sister took a cue from a friend and didn’t light the candle. I continued to admire her skills as BabyMama.FINALLY he dug in. We surrounded him like paparazzi, waiting for the money shot. He daintily took a finger sized scoop of icing and put it right in his mouth.NO! HUDSON! Don’t hold out on me. I want the cake on face! A diaper full of icing (Gross. That’s later)! He went in for another delicate finger taste.Finally, some frosting on the nose, thanks to Dad. Adorable. We celebrated his first ever sugar overdose with total joy.

I was glad to see him using the birthday present we got him. A car. He’s just checking the engine:My Aunt Lin lovingly destroyed us all by wrapping up Pop-Pop’s old train set that he used to put around the Christmas tree every year, and giving it to Hudson.Had Les and I seen the picture of the layout of the tracks, as kids, we might not have had such a hard time putting it together. I remember having lots of “end of tracks” situations, the way we did it. Many wooden people died just trying to get to the next town.

After the party, we drove with Mom and Dad to Lancaster CITY where they now live. Close to The Belvedere and The Lancaster Arts Hotel. Finally, things to do! So, we drove straight out of town and into the Amish burbs. And backwards Rumspringa’d ourselves. We ate shoofly pie, breathed in fresh manure, and made plans to supe up a Buggy. But, it was only a few hours before we were ready to return to electric living.And then, as I should have known, it was all over. Time to head back to LA and get back on the hamster wheel.  It’s not so bad. Someday maybe I’ll get one of those awesome tunnels so I can go all over the place.



3 thoughts on “We Got Crabs.

  1. Love the bonnet; hope you were allowed to keep it. You could start a new trend in LA! I also think it’s hilarious that the penitentiary has a marketing message. Maybe we should also suggest: “If you had committed a crime, you could be home by now” a la apartment complexes on the side of the 405….

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