Children Of The Corn.

You guys. WHAT is going on with Candy Corn this year?? Despite its legendary status as the candy everyone loves to hate, it’s totally hitting the mainstream.  I, myself, am Team Candy Corn. I don’t care if it’s made of candles and food coloring, it’s delicious. But this year, I think I’ve already ingested a good couple pounds of it without even trying. Why? Because suddenly it is everywhere.

I found a couple pieces in my smoothie today. What is happening, World!

I wanted to invent a Candy Corn-horned Unicorn, but all I could come up with was the image (– using my art school skills, ya’ll!). Because Candy Corn and Unicorn don’t mash into one word very well. UniCorn. Same. CandiCorn. Same. UniCandyCorn. Dumb. It will just have to be nameless. Like Prince, when he turned into a symbol.

I ate a hundred of these Oreos in about 3 minutes. If you like Oreos and happiness, you’re in for a treat. And has anyone dissected the Candy Corn M&Ms?What is this. I don’t know. But if I had a baby, I would make them wear it all the time. I confess, it’s adorable. And also I love that she’s eating her costume.

SO many people say they don’t like Candy Corn. Like, truly – hate it. Looking at the bag makes them uncomfortable and sweaty. SO… why is it impossible to find Candy Corn Oreos in Target? It ain’t cuz people hates the corn!This is a festive way to say “I love Candy Corn and fingernails!” Although, for historical accuracy, I feel like the points should be pointier. Unless this is a representation of Candy Corn that’s been flat ironed.

With this year’s Candycornocalypse, I can only assume that next year will be mindblowing. General Mills, wheaty-oat-y cereal with puffy orange, yellow and white marshmallows! Ben and Jerry’s – figure it out! And I’m quite looking forward to the first brand Candy Corn infused vodka. Any takers, Absolut?

Tell me the truth. Y’do a little Candy Corn on the side, this time of year…? I won’t tell.



Oreos, Baby, Nails

8 thoughts on “Children Of The Corn.

  1. i’ve always loved candy corn!! as i’m always ridiculed for my affection, i’m glad there’re others out there that love it, too!

    as for that baby costume, screw the kids only thing, i’m having one made for myself!

      • Sure, like there’s any left at *your* house! Ha ha! ;) Not a fan, I’m afraid. My fave Halloween candy was anything miniature, especially Reese’s cups. So please feel free to eat my share of this year’s candycornpocalypse. I’m currently pigging out on the paleo carrot cake I managed to make yesterday. I’m not sure how I was able to share it without stabbing people with my fork….

Talk to me, Baby.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s