Mannequin Whisperer.

22 May

mannequin-book-hilfiger_02Hey you guys!

I don’t have anything exciting to write about. A lot of little stories, but — nothing that’s jumping out to me.

Do I write about how I got trapped inside Kelsey Grammer’s Bel Air mansion gate? (No, it’s not fun because I got out eventually.) Or how my roommates got me all hopped up on Mario Kart (the second time in my life that I’ve binged on the *one* video game I will ever want to play). OR, I could blab on again about how hard LA is, or how I haven’t had any auditions, or how there are a couple cool things in the works and how I’m making my OWN projects happen, and how I’m in the market for a large piece of green fabric to use as a background for a sketch I wrote, self-reflection, should I meditate?, juice cleanse, sunshine, traffic…

Snooze. Everyone’s doing that.

Maybe I’ll post a picture of a macaron. So I can get 5 million hits on my blog just because I like, LIKE-like, what we all like! #MACARONBITCH

So, here’s something else. My obsession with taking photos of mannequins. I drive around Beverly Hills almost every nite. And after all the store lights are down, and the fashionistas have gone home (or out to fancy restaurants with their sugar daddies because they’re tie-tie from shopping all day at GucciPradaVenetta), the window dressings are left alone, arranged in the dim evening lights, in their haute couture, looking out. Silently speaking to me.

I post these on Instagram. (Mom: download the Instagram app on your phone and look for user: ilikelauren. That’s me.)

mannequin-book-hilfigerThis is Hilfiger, if you can’t tell by the “nautica”, and the faces that seem to say “Well, I’m not gonna feed myself vodka and oysters on the yacht, YOU are.”

This is jeweler Van Cleef and Arpels. Now, you can buy bejeweled ballerinas, inspired by a collaboration with dancer Benjamin Millepied (Natalie Portman’s hubby/babydaddy/professional dancer/choreographer — ok, yeah – we get it, Benjamin. You can do everything).

mannequin-book-van-cleef-and-arplesNeiman Marcus. They were doing a thing with dogs.
mannequin-book-neimann-marcusFrederick’s of Hollywood. You don’t have to be smart if you look hot in a bikini. Am I right or am I right.
mannequin-book-fredricks-of-hollywoodI can’t remember who’s window this is… mannequin-book-beeLOFT, Beverly Hills.mannequin-book-loftMy favorite Foreign Soap Opera Bridal Boutique. Next time, on “Shadows of Russia”…
mannequin-book-brideSaks Fifth Avenue. On not-Fifth-Avenue.mannequin-book-saksAnd finally, Agent Provocateur. It’s so nice to see mannequins that look (and feel) like real women. I mean feelings-feel…mannequins-book-agent-provocateurAnd that about wraps it up for today.

XX,

L

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5 Responses to “Mannequin Whisperer.”

  1. Oranges and Avocados May 22, 2013 at 2:33 PM #

    Book deal!

  2. bcoco May 22, 2013 at 5:32 PM #

    I LOVE mannequins. And also wigs. And also the stories you write.

    I always love the stories, even though I don’t always write comments. I am grateful that you share this with us/me.

  3. Monica May 23, 2013 at 6:51 AM #

    I love your mannequin pictures! I particularly like it when they are snarky at each other like the Loft picture :)

  4. tinykitchenstories May 23, 2013 at 10:50 AM #

    I was drawing faces on fruit and vegetables and taking pictures of them for a while. Yours are much funnier! I think my husband is happy I stopped with the produce photos. But yours–keep going! I will actually look at my Instagram app and follow you.

Talk to me, Baby.

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