Over(alls) It.

19 Jul

me-senior-photoWere you having a weird hair day until you saw this picture? You’re welcome.

That’s my senior portrait. Solidifying my status as “Home Grown Pennsylvania” forever. What you’re not seeing is that the scene was an actual field in the middle of nowhere, and my dog “Tucker”, was seated by my foot. Cuz dershnabbit, I’m a farm gal thru and thru! (For the record, I was terrified of feeding baby cows, and drowning in the corn silo, on my friend Theresa’s dairy farm, growing up. And I screamed and ran away from a beaver that wasn’t even chasing me, once. I do like shoefly pie though.)

The worst is that my Mom has had this photo in her wallet for the past 17 years.

…Let that sink in. 

I was so innocent then. So many life experiences ahead of me — including things like: Hair dye (what you’re seeing there is grown-out Sun-In), Nair, leaving a few brow hairs unplucked, flat ironing, and not putting my Manhands™ next to my face in photos.

But the most unforgivable remains: THE OVERALL. Mine were cuffed shorts-er-alls. Pretty sure I had a pair of Birkenstocks on. What? Someone call Vogue! We’ve got a Covergirl on our hands!

When I saw overalls returning to the scene this year, I thought — OMG! Lemme Back To The Future myself and be like “GIRL! You hit this trend like a champ! Who doesn’t love denim, and comfort and baggy crotch! Werk!”

And then Huffington Post called the trend “Stylish”. And I was like —- oh haeeeeeeeellllllll no.

These are the people who are allowed to wear overalls: People who grow their own food in an area that could never be called an “urban farm”, people who live in a state that has the directional qualifier of “West”, people who are under the age of 5, and people who would claim “Professional Banjoist/Juggist/Spoons/Comb” if they filed their taxes.

That’s it. Not even you, supermodel who looks good in everything, can be STYLISH in these. They are for doing laundry. In private. On a planet where you are the one remaining human. Then go for it! Don’t even wear a shirt, if you want!

I saw formal overalls at a fancy restaurant in Hollywood, last year. And I assumed it was just spot on my eyeball. But it’s real and it’s happening, so we should talk about it.

This is the cream of the crap, according to HuffPost. Considering these are our highest hopes, let us begin.overalls-free overalls-free2 overalls-free3 overalls-free4 overalls-free6 overalls-free7 overalls-free8 overalls-free9 overalls-free10 overalls-free11People, I am speaking from experience! Try something more flattering. Nobody’s body is shaped like this. So, really – anything will do.

For real. Someone could be keeping this photo in their wallet for 17 years.

And counting…

XX,

L

Images by Huffington Post before I wrote on them.

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20 Responses to “Over(alls) It.”

  1. Jennifer Dorning Kerilla July 19, 2013 at 6:28 AM #

    Oh… My… God…. My senior picture looked like the cover of my first country album…. double denim in NE PA in 93

    • Lauren Bair July 19, 2013 at 3:04 PM #

      Hahahaha! If you weren’t in PA, you’da been rockin the DENIM TUXEDO. And I’m pretty sure Brittney Spears (AND Justin Timberlake) tried to pull off this look way after you weren’t doing it. You win!! ;)

  2. clayconnally July 19, 2013 at 7:28 AM #

    This made me laugh, causing little tears to roll down my face!

    Seriously, I’ve been noticing more overalls lately. I was thinking that maybe I’m just more sensitive to this particularly look, having grown up in rural Texas (where they’re still considered work attire). I now realize, thanks to you, that they constitute a stylish fashion choice! Who knew?

    • Lauren Bair July 19, 2013 at 3:06 PM #

      Clay! You’re seeing the future of fashion! Hahaha. I’m sure the trend is already over. But as history shows us. “I’ll be baaaa-aaaaack” (That’s the overalls talking). I’m so glad this made you laugh ;)

  3. Phil July 19, 2013 at 8:42 AM #

    I grew up in Wyoming and I never understood overalls for the general populace. They’re old man who works his hands bare in the field and two year old clothes. Very funny post!

    • Lauren Bair July 19, 2013 at 3:07 PM #

      Haha thanks Phil! AND YES! That’s exactly who they are for. I’m surprised they don’t come with that unbutton-style backside. For ease of elimination…

  4. tinykitchenstories July 19, 2013 at 10:24 AM #

    While looking at the models’ photos (not yours, which is adorable and mine is WORSE because it was 1989 and I had Jon Bon Jovi hair. I s**t you not–I think there’s some pics on FB if you don’t believe me), I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit. It’s like when ponchos were in. Seriously, unless your name *is* Poncho and you live south of the Rio Grande and ride a burro, don’t wear an effing poncho. And NEVER wear one over overalls.

    • Lauren Bair July 19, 2013 at 3:09 PM #

      I just like, laughed aloud and then choked on my saliva. I want to see this photo you speak of and ALSO, my boyfriend was doing Bon Jovi hair — in Puerto Rico! This is seriously trumping any influence “The Rachel” ever had.

      Also, I’m naming my first born “Overalls”. So it’s ok for him/her to wear them. Allllll the time.

      XO

      • tinykitchenstories July 23, 2013 at 1:30 PM #

        And I fully expect your second child to be named Poncho. I feel both names are perfect for either sex, don’t you?

        I’m so happy that the boyf was also rocking the Bon Jovi hair. Nothing says “style” like New Jersey!

        I will definitely send you a photo–I’ve got to find the one where I also have my Manhand™ up near my face. And I’m pretty sure I’ve got Falcon Crest makeup on, too. *sigh* To be 16 again! I’d shoot myself.

  5. Tami Galvin July 23, 2013 at 8:05 AM #

    i had those blue and white striped ones in high school! i actually got in trouble because i took the bus to lloyd center during lunch to buy them and missed geometry class :( i used to wear them with the straps hanging down because i was that cool.

    • Lauren Bair July 28, 2013 at 8:37 PM #

      TAMI — IT WAS ALL WORTH IT! Because who tells great stories about geometry class?? NO ONE! I do wish I could see a picture of this, though ;)

  6. Tammy July 23, 2013 at 6:27 PM #

    Hey Lauren, they tore down Farmdale…so sad. : ( I think you need to do a RIP farmdale entry! Were you there the whole time or just 4th, 5th & 6th? Where did you go before then?

    • Lauren Bair July 28, 2013 at 8:39 PM #

      Hey Tammy! Thanks for telling me about this! I just looked it up online because instantly I was sad to hear this. But I guess future Farmdale kids needed an update?? Haha. I am glad to see that they build something in its place! I was there 4-6th grade, after having been a Centerville Elementary kid for the first half ;) (Farmdale was the best though, right??)

  7. Jody July 24, 2013 at 7:40 AM #

    Manhands (TM)…thanks for the laugh!

  8. Susie (Rozea) Kramer July 31, 2013 at 3:29 PM #

    This post caught my eye because your senior pic was in my collection in 1996;) Man, you are one funny chick. This one almost made me pee myself. Good thing I wasn’t wearing an 8 button fly!

    • Lauren Bair July 31, 2013 at 3:54 PM #

      OMG Susie! I miss catching up with you on FB. I’m so glad you wrote. Your stories always crack me up. I’m glad I could give you one back ;) Hope you are well! XO

  9. Beth Lavender August 29, 2013 at 4:27 PM #

    I haven’t read your blog for a few weeks, and decided after a crazy and stressful first week back at school, that I needed to laugh. So here I am. This post not only made me laugh out loud, but had me pounding my palm on the table for emphasis. Just what I needed. It also reminded me of MY first and only pair of overalls which I wore almost daily circa 1979. So it would seem that fashion (?) trends repeat themselves every 17 years or so.

    • Lauren Bair September 16, 2013 at 10:45 PM #

      Beth!! OK, this is how I want everyone to feel when they read my posts. Hahaha. So awesome. I heard someone say that if you participated in a trend, you shouldn’t participate in it when it comes back around. Our overalls days are OVER!!!! Hahaha. I guess it’s a good thing MC Hammer pants are still somewhere in my future… (??)

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  1. Couples Yoga. | THIS IS LALA LAND - August 18, 2015

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