So…it’s been a while since I’ve gone on an audition. “OMG it’s pilot season! What’s wrong with her?!” My brain bitches to my heart. And my heart responds with a don’t-interrupt-me-while-I’m-eating-ice-cream-and-watching-Long-Island-Medium-and-feeling-sad-for-myself “– I don’t know.”
I did finally get an audition through my agent, for the first time in forever. For a crappy play. In a town a hundred miles away. That is the actual distance. I’m pretty sure she hates me.
At least she didn’t ask me what I would do with my kids, if I got hired to do a show. “Um, leave ’em at home with some water and a really big bowl of cheese puffs, obviously. It’s just a couple months.”
I declined the theater audition, but I did go on a self-submitted audition for an allergy medicine. I was just getting over a cold. I. Was. Ready.
I walked in to a really backed-up cattle call type situation. And all the cows looked like me. “Moo. Did you sign in?” “Moo. No. The casting assistant is still at lunch, Moo.” “Ok. Moo.” I held my head shot like a top secret document. I hate for other actors to see my dorky picture. Or my resume, on the back. It’s tough because there’s not a benign third side.
All us actresses read the casting call, so we all looked like “Fresh! On the go! Not-Mom-ish!” Some gals did that in UGGS, some did it in flats. And one girl did it in animal print peep-toe platform heels. Continue reading