Chocolate Peanut Butter Dog Turds.


This is a diversion from the usual thing around here. Februarurary is a weird month for me because it’s my bday times. Aquarius rules. But according to astrology, Uranus is my true ruler, so that’s…

Anyway, I always feel like my bday is my own private New Years. SO MUCH REFLECTION on the year past and the one hopefully coming up. So I usually go off the deep end, then return back to reality and realize “Y’know… maybe I need a little P&Q”. Peas and quarrots. Or peace and quiet, in my brain. Because obsessing about omg-what-have-I-even-done-with-my-life-everything-is-going-by-so-fast-what-if-I-die-before-I-ever-do-anything-meaningful — really is useless energy that I could be turning toward something like an interesting knitting project.

If I knew how to knit.


So. In lieu of anything meaningful, here are some chocolate turds!

This is actually a feature on my web show tonite (if you care to binge on our first 6 episodes!) and I wanted to share it with you guys. Because it’s like, my best kept secret. Ever. This, and that other thing I can’t say…

These are delicious Pennsylvania chocolate, peanut butter, oatmeal cookie bars, that I transformed into delicious Pennsylvania chocolate, peanut butter, oatmeal cookie bars shaped like dog poop.

Originally, I made these for my friend Piper’s me-imposed “dog warming party”, when we both lived in Portland, Oregon. I wanted her new adopted pup Fernando to feel welcome! He continues to be the boss of life, so I think he got an awesome fresh start, thanks to Pipes. pb-chocolate-dog-turds-02The brilliant thing about these cookies is that they are SO easy and look like number two from the very beginning. So you’ll feel like you’re achieving, right off the bat. Stop half way through, even, and you’ve already won.

– 2 C sugar
– 1/2 C milk
– 2 T cocoa powder
– 1/4 lb. butter shut up it’s a Pennsylvania recipe. Like French cooking.
– 3 C rolled oats
– 3/4 C peanut butter (crunchy’s fun!)
– 1 tsp vanilla

Put the first 4 ingredients into a pot and bring to a boil. After a couple minutes, add everything else. Stir til combined. DONE! (Told ya). Then, the magical secret is you place the mixture into a piping bag and squoosh out different turd-like shapes. Swirls. Morse code kind. The sky is the limit.pb-chocolate-dog-turds-03Allow them to cool on wax paper, then enjoy with un-furry friends.

I served mine with hard cider because it looks like poo’s #1 companion. And on the floor, of course. By the door. The dogs I’ve owned would agree on the placement.pb-chocolate-dog-turds-04I hope these cookies inspire you. Ok, not really, but they taste good.



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