Archive | February, 2016

Feet Fit For Radio.

29 Feb

I don’t like to check my email right when I wake up, so I usually just check my email right when I wake up.

I found a message calling me in for a commercial audition! Yay! “MUST HAVE NICE FEET / NO FOOT MODELS / WEAR SOMETHING THAT SHOWS ARMS AND LEGS / BAREFOOT IN AUDITION”.


I blinked my eyes to confirm — ugh, fuck. FEET.

Clammy with a fresh terror sweat, I clocked my Sasquatch snaggle toes.

pyzbkzjncczgw Continue reading


The Camembert.

5 Feb

This story starts out alright.

Ervin and I were sipping almond milk lattes at Intelligentsia in Silverlake. I’m always torn between — wait. What am I saying. I’m never torn. All I do is 1. Try not to chug my drink, and 2. Make some sort of conversation while I’m 3. ACTUALLY watching people and wondering about their lives…

Me: “So what was that story about that thing?”

Ervin: “OK, so –”

Me: “I love that girl’s style. I would wear that. What–? OK. Yes. SO. Go ahead, you were saying…”

Ervin: “So –”

Me: “OMG! Shhh. Wait. So… that’s the guy from ‘Casual’…”

Ervin: “Who?”

Me: “That guy!Continue reading

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