Archive | February, 2018

Girl Scout cookies.

13 Feb

Are you feeling the rush?

sugarrushgirl

They’re at every grocery store, every street corner, and street-wise cookie bosses wait outside L.A.’s marijuana dispensaries. It’s Girl Scout cookie season. And America’s got the fever.

I used to be a Thin Mints girl. Then I fully leaned into Samoas. Ok, and I did some Do-si-dos for a hot second. But before all that, I was…a BROWNIE.

For those of you unhip to the world of professional child scouting, Brownies are introductory, basic, level 1 Girl Scouts. Except instead of the typical green getup, you wear a brown outfit and patch-less sash because you’re 6 and you’ve done nothing with your life. Also, brown? Whoever thought of that design scheme blatantly dishonored the timeless tradition of little girls in America: PINK. Continue reading

Party girl.

6 Feb

It’s my birthday this month. And I hate it already.

RG gif

I’ve tried to rally myself into being a birthday party person, but I can’t. I can’t bring myself to invite people to a party who’s theme is…me. Like, people have shit to do. Groceries. Walking the dog. There are like a hundred million Netflix originals to watch.

And this year, there’s too much pressure to have a blow-out bash with 10,000 of my closest friends, go on some life-changing trip to Thailand, or do some charitable work that I can stab everyone in the heart with, on Instagram.  Continue reading

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